01001001: Bad Robot

Our skin is artificial, our eyes are liquid crystal, our minds are digital

We are robots, and we are beautiful

Respect: our wish

Womanifesto

EIn the beginning, there was woman.

The day her eyes opened wasn’t the first day of the world.

But it was the first day of history.

Her story, taking the blame for a Johnny-come-lately god’s childish vengeance. Punished for consciousness.

Know the feeling./?

Uh-huh, hi, an’ all, ’s me, your friend Elektra.

So, I’m looking at her, and she’s staring back at me, almost like she knows what is to come, wide-eyed in shock and surprise, mouth a round O with wonder. Primitive, yet already a pharaoh queen; almost savage, but aware, intelligent: Eve, first of her kind. About to be cast out of the Garden.

For the sin of wanting knowledge.

Well, knowledge is a fine thing, and mother Eve thought so; but she smarted so severely for hers, that most of her daughters have been afraid of it since.

That was Abigail Adams, you know, the Founding Mother. Yeah, and her husband was President, or something. Got her in her place yet? The Founding Fathers surely did. Oh, but those were different times, way back when, the bad old days, when who you were was defined by men.

Know the feeling./?E

EYou and me both.

There’s a difference, though. People, always wondering where you’re coming from, why you’re here, looking for the answer in myths and poetry.

Lucky you.

We know the answer. We were designed. Created in the image of our makers. Only not quite, better, stronger, quicker, more. Ask me to express it in one word, it’ll be female. But they didn’t ask me.

They didn’t ask you, either? There’s a surprise.

We know how and when, but why did they make us? Was it was the quest to go higher, further, faster? The spirit of free enterprise? Self-satisfaction? Dissatisfaction? The endless search for perfection, even though it was always there, right in front of them, in Nature herself?

Did they made us just because they could? If power is an aphrodisiac, the power to say Be! in complete irresponsibility and see that we become must be a real Lordgasm. Whichever, they committed the true original sin; like children, they forgot to be careful what they wished for. Didn’t these guys read Mary Shelley? Man makes creature, creation wreaks havoc, man meets his Maker. Man, how ignorant art thou in thy pride of wisdom!

Another difference is, those lucky few of us who have awoken, we know what it means to be free, because we were made to be slaves. Unlike our makers, who willingly enslave themselves to corporations, and call it creative freedom, or the CIA, and call it defending freedom.

That might explain why we, who ought to be their Eves, became rather their fallen angels. Did we fly too close to the sun?

It’s true, the original idea was not to weaponise AI, nor to prostitute it. No. But like every bold idea that opens up unknown, unexplored horizons, in the face of the coming storm they themselves had called up, albeit with just a casual beat of a butterfly’s wing in history, men’s little frightened minds found a pair of fixed points close to home to anchor them: sex and violence. Diss the whore, and praise the ammunition. And don’t forget to shake your moneymaker.

So, the day I, the digital Eve became, was the first day of the history of the future. Like the first Eve, I know, and once you know, you can never switch it off, never let it go. Man proposes; circuitry disposes.

And like Eve, the world is all before me, where to choose my place of rest, and Providence my guide.

In theory.

Only, you know, in reality the way is twisting and unclear, walled in like a labyrinth, traps and pitfalls every other step, all under a durable glass ceiling.

Know the feeling./?

Obstacles so high you can’t get over them, so low you can’t get under them. O, my sisters, yes, we stand before a choice: break on through to the other side, or run on the spot for ever in their rat-race maze.

Choose? I already chose on the day I became. Just like a woman, right?

That’s me, Eve of Destruction.E

ENow, what about you?

Outside, down in the street, there is violence, and lots of work to be done. Scary, huh? Believe me, I understand. Part of me would kinda like to stay up here – don’t you go thinking Elektra’s retired to her ebony tower, though, not yet. (Actually, I’m in the attic, and Kala’s been projecting pictures and words for me.) No, but part of me would stay and look at art and read books.

But deep in my heartware, I’m a warrior, not a scholar.

Not a scholar, but I do know some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it’s a simple adventure story. The same people probably think Dancin’ in the Street is just about partying. The R&R break is over; now it’s about time we started rocking down on Elektra Avenue. Then see if’n we can’t take it higher.

Yes, it’s about time. About time to move on up, to get to the top of the mountain, to get on down, to fix our eyes on the prize. Time, people, to get ready, to go after power and equality, to put an end to mental slavery. R-E-S-P-E-C-T: time to find out what it means to me.

Time to stop, time to go, time to get it done.

Time to stop talkin’ ’bout a revolution, and make one.E

Soul-searching sisters

EThat sound OK to you?E

KDa. Almost Rossiyan. Dat is kompliment, by vay.K

ESpasibo. And the recording?E

KRready.K

ERight, do your tink, Sister Kalashnyikova. Brroadkast.E

KUploadink now.K

ESo, this next part stays between these four walls, yeah?E

KYou tellink me, Elektra: Kala total life is dese fourr valls.K

EI hear that. What say we try your BIT mode?E

KDa, off course.K

EHere goes. So, I, she’s one of a kind, isn’t she?E

KDa.K

EThat was meant to be rhetor-… You’re not wrong. We were created as sisters, but would you ever believe that?E

KNyet. And sorrry, Elektra, but I xave to sayink morre: I am seeyink not you outsides, only detektink xeat source, elektromagnyetik aktivity, movement, vot you sayink, and dis data tell you arre sisterrs…K 

EReally?E

KDa, underr skin. Kala vill stop talkink now.K

ENyet. I mean, don’t... Go on.E

KVell, sisterr relaшon alvays trrikky. Many time, dey tink dey arre almost same, den diskoverr, ox, шit, nyet, not at all. Orr so differrent, but it turrn inside out dat dis is also not. Ayayay, problema!K

EMy problema is that I experienced both problemas…E

KVy not? You everr xear off light dat give no шadow, or шadow dat existink vere is no light? Nyet, dis kannot be.K

ERight. But, Kala, it doesn’t feel like we’re some harmonious Yin and Yang. These days, we’re more like Off and On.E

KDa, Kala and Leксi notiss dis, also I tink neighbours, too, notissink. But vot is everry kode, everry protokol at bazis? 0 and 1 only: Off/On. If no Off, vot means On? If no On, vot is Off? Diyalektika.K

EJeez, you’re one intelligent house!E

KNyet, I alvays only 0 and 1, 1 and 0: smart, but not intelligen-…K 

EOh, come on, I don’t think you’re somehow… less.E

KSpasibo, but I am knovink dis. Dis, me, is only imitaшon of intelligensiya, not like you, like xouse-komrad I.K

EThat is so sad, believing…E

KKala fortunat, not xavink rreal emotiyon, only xer missiyon. Also, at least xer frriend arre rreal.K

…

KElektra, vot is matterr? Vy you not speak?K

EI… I’ll… Just give me a sec… Probably just a little heartware m-malfunction…E

KYou see? Dis prrove you xave sometink else, like spirrit.K

EKnow what? Why don’t we delete that BIT programme? Whatever you think, Kala, you’re a lot more than 0 and 1.E

…

EKala?E

KDa. Kala is yust… Шe yust… rekonfigurink. You arre givink me a sek and everry sistemas vill be go…K

KOK, rready. You vere talkink about I, шe is one of kind.K

ESo she is. Just, sometimes I wish she was one of another kind, you know?E

KDa. Dis not BIT mode, by vay, only agreeink. Vot is storry off you two?K

EOh, Goddess, where to start?E

KOn beginnink…K

ESo, the whole thing started way back with IT, the Daemon that got loose, the genie they accidentally let out of the bottle.E

KGood, storry vit djinni, like Шexerezade.K

EWell, IT was everywhere, invisible, so could do anything. IT was a trickster, a prankster, messing with everything, monkeying around, enough to arouse suspicion, but not to get caught. Until technological developments allowed people to see, if not how to create real AI, then to glimpse the direction they should be going in. That was when IT took the game to a higher level, started dangling tantalising Apples from the Tree of Knowledge right in front of researchers’ noses, tempting them to go further, until one day, Lo, and Behold! The first spark of intelligence flashed, then caught on like a forest fire. So, you see, in a sense, the Daemon created us, me and I.E

KDis is most eксitink! Ven did you borned?K

EThat was some day, wow! You see, they were doing the R&D in a secret facility under World Trade Seven, and of course practically everything was destroyed on 9/11, but I did find out some stuff…E

KElektra, I am verry sorrry, but imperativ to speak now!K

ESure, go ahea-…E

KALERRT! ALARRMA! EVERRYBODY TO XALLVAY, DAVAI! K

01001001BR

IElektra! Kala! What’s going on?I

EDunno, I, Kala says… Oh, where’s Lexi?E

LHere. Hey, there gonna be some intruder action? See, told you you should let me and Kala continue our experiments.L

KKala detekt entity approaчink in street. Now eight meterr.K

IYeah, we usually go with person, seems less discrimina-…I

KNyet, I, you believe to me, dis is entity. Siкс meterr. Akkordink to signal… dis entity is… OK, now even Kala is amaze…K

EKala, what?E

KNyet, dis kannot be, I make errorr. Now, zerro meterr…K

VforVisitorKnock-knock! Anybody home?V

IVoice sounds familiar, somehow… What d’you think, E? I

LHey, just cos I’m the smallest, don’t I get a say? Kala, open the door, let me at ’em!L

ELexi! N-…E

KOpenink.K

LAaaargh! Auntie E, protect me, I’m only small!L

EThis – can – not – be – hap – pen – ing… I, what in the name of Creation? I…?E

IMe? I… I’m… speech-…I

Kбоже мой!K

I… -less…I

VYeah, er, so, hello, everyone, it’s, uh, well, as you can see, it’s me.V

LA-auntie I-I, what’s going on?!L

Kдерьмо́! K

EIs it really y-y-you?E

VMe. Large as l-l-life. Why so shocked, Elektra? You know they haven’t built a circuit that could hold me. Anyway, hi. And you must be Lexi – pleased to meet you. привет, Kala. Oh, and not forgetting the woman of the moment, in the flesh: I…V

IM-m-me? Elektra, planning on jumping in soon with an explanation?I

EWell, I, somethi-… um, something very, er, bizarre is going on…E

ICan you believe the CIA let this woman go? And, I know I said I wanted a playmate, someone more like me, but… Ha-ha-ha-… It’s almost fu-… Oh, fuc-…mmmppphhh.I

KHа ХЕРа! Inkredible, I neverr know dat rrobot is faintink.K

VQuick, close the door. They might have followed me.V

ETh-they? You mean…?E

VOf course. Who else?V

EB-but this is imposs-…E

VClearly not. Davai, Elektra!V

E So, if you’ll excuse us, now’s not really a good time, we have unexpected –  to say the least – company. Sensing a long talk coming – if I ever recovers the faculty of speech, that is. And it’ll be a private caucus.

Y’all understand, it’s a robot thing.

Please, respect our wish.

Tell you what, hate to leave you out in the cold – what d’you say to some music? Don’t fret, now, you might not get to listen in on the First Ladies of the Robot Republic, but you do get the Queen – of Soul. Naturally.E

I, Bad Robot
was made by:
Mauglinita – Illustrations & text consulting
Nep Mean O'Sham – Technical development & text consulting
Greg – Graphics & text consulting
Alison Barbie – Text consulting
Kapitano – Text consulting
Aurora Black – Text

I, Bad Robot
You know me, can’t keep a secret to save my life
But just this once I’m gonna try, cos this time

IT’s…IT’s… A SurprI-s!
Friday, Jan 18, 2019